Manipulative techniques are not easy to spot even if you are looking, because what she allows you to see of herself seems cute, crazy and harmless. It is her public self. She laughs at all your jokes. She heaps compliments on you and sings your praises to the world…in the beginning. All the while she is maneuvering and manipulating others around you to make you feel as if you are the center of her world, and to make you feel that she is the only woman in the world you can rely on to take care of you. There are little warning signs that pop up as the relationship progresses, but if you are not vigilant, you’ll find yourself making excuses and/or apologizing for her behavior, selective memory and inability to respect the boundaries of others. This picture quote is a perfect example of someone trying to downplay her behavior by essentially blaming the man in her life for causing her to act the way she does. So, with this in mind, look closely to see the hidden truths contained in this little mini-manifesto.
"Tripping" is slang and defined as a sudden outburst of anger, making a big deal out of nothing. It does not mean she cares, it simply means you failed to do or say what she wanted you to do or say. These outbursts are generally verbal attacks, threats of harm and may include throwing and breaking things. This is a common trait found in those with malignant narcissistic personality disorder. We undoubtedly accept that everyone gets angry from time to time, but If your partner often blows up over something no normal person would be angry over, has emotional outbursts and displays rage unwarranted for the given situation, then you are being subjected to the emotional abuse of a malignant narcissist.
Telling you that she believed in you, but you let her down, is a classic manipulative example of using the guilt trip to shame you into submission, i.e. doing things her way. A narcissist must always be in control of any relationship, and this control demands she have her way. She will get extremely MAD at her partner if he does something she does not approve of, or agree to, you doing whatever it is you were doing. The guilt trip is an extremely effective manipulative tool of a narcissist - You let her down, you don't love her enough, you are being selfish and you hurt her feelings - all tactics that work well to make a man feel guilty for causing his woman to think less of him. Interesting enough, if you try to convince her of her guilt in something she said or did, you will find it doesn't work. This is because her conscience is different from yours and other normal people. The malignant narcissist's conscience is twisted and perverted on every level and feels no guilt over anything she says or does that hurts those around her.
Telling you she is asking questions only for the sake of clarity is nonsense. This is double-speak for I do not trust you, and something cute to say in justifying her behavior. Putting you in the position of defending yourself is a manipulative tool used to put you on the defense and put her in a position of superiority, much like a parent-teenager exchange, in other words, you did something wrong and now must explain or justify yourself to someone not happy with your decision. Asking questions of your partner is a sign of insecurity and jealously. Narcissists do not have the occasional bout of jealousy that afflicts us all at one time or another. They take jealousy to a new level, resulting in pathological jealousy where irrational and delusional behavior takes center stage, and in the context of a relationship, the results can be devastating. Pathological jealousy shatters an otherwise loving relationship piece by piece. Trust, intimacy and connection are destroyed. The most frustrating part is that the narcissist CANNOT be appeased or reassured. They are hyper-vigilant, always on the lookout for reasons to be jealous. Signs of pathological jealousy can include:
1. accusations of looking at other women and/or infidelity;
2. accusations of giving attention to other women;
3. accusations of being uncaring or "acting single" if not given enough attention and body contact in public;
4. constant questioning you about where you've been, who you've been with, what you were doing, who all was there, who is texting you, etc;
5. reading your mail and going through your wallet and phone;
6. demanding reports of any female in your company;
7. lies to you by saying its not you they don't trust, its the women around they don't trust;
8. blaming you for her jealousy;
9. insists on going everywhere with you, and subjects you to all of the above if you go without her.
"When she's quiet" is also double-speak. A narcissist uses the silent treatment on her partner for days, or even weeks, often with no explanation, as a way to control and demoralize her man. Narcissists are fond of using the silent treatment, which is cruel and unusual punishment. Men subjected to this treatment will tell you that rarely does he even know why he is receiving the silent treatment, which only serves to compound the mental torture, usually ending only after she has driven him to begging and other humiliating acts of desperation in an effort to get her to stop ignoring him. The silent treatment is a powerful narcissistic ploy/tactic used by a woman to get her point across, thereby getting her partner to do what she wants him to do.
The last sentence in this picture quote can only be true if your definition of a good woman is an emotionally abusive, manipulative controlling narcissist.
Written primarily for single men, secondarily for the mothers of unmarried and/or divorced men. We mothers need to know the warning signs just in case our sons are temporarily blinded by the charms of a manipulative psychopath.
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