My story is specifically about emotional abuse at the hands of a narcissistic sociopath, or as I call her, a narcopath.
I’m often asked about the differences between a psychopath, sociopath, malignant narcissist and a narcissistic sociopath (narcopath). I think it would be easier to set out the similarities between the three at the outset. First, while we use the terms psychopath and sociopath for different reasons, the psychology profession considers the sociopath and psychopath to basically be one and the same thing. However, all four groups are classified as personality disorders of varying degrees.
Please understand that this article is not an exhaustive description of any of these personality-disordered types. If you suspect you are dating or working with either a malignant narcissist, psycho/sociopath or narcissistic sociopath, you may want to do further research in order to have a deeper grasp of the dynamics involved in continuing the relationship. All four groups are made up of both genders - this article uses the she/her convention.
As I have said before, I am not trained in psychiatry or psychology, however, I feel comfortable in saying that I have a high degree of expertise in understanding the behaviors and patterns of narcissistic sociopathy. My knowledge didn't come from a text book, it came from being personally attacked, slandered and libeled by a narcopath for the past three years. She has destroyed our once close family unit, and turned my only son against his entire family. Out of despair and heart-breaking pain due to her insidious and destructive behavior came a clarity and wisdom you can't learn from a text book. In a odd way, I look upon my experience with a sense of gratitude. It has given me the ability to see things much more clearly. I have studied and learned the patterns of these types of personality disordered individuals. While they share many common traits, they vary greatly in their differences. This awareness can be quite empowering. Knowing the how of her manipulative mind grants me, at varying levels, power over her “games”. This I know. My experience has given me a purpose. I want to educate as many people as I can about these truly evil dark souls that live among us.
When I first started researching her behavior, the amount of information was simply overwhelming. I had to break it down into smaller chunks so that I could absorb the information. I finally listed all the traits I found in her that were listed in the Diagnostic and Statisical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) for narcissist, psycho/sociopath. It was here I first heard the term narcissistic sociopath. Educating myself on the basics of how to discern the difference between the personality types is where I decided was the place to start, so this was my focus for the first year.Learning the traits, patterns, and deviant behaviors—the “red flags”—out of the confusion and pain, I gained some much needed clarity. This clarity of vision gives me the ability to steer clear of these types of individuals. I believe I spot them pretty easily. Sure, it’s possible that I could be mistaken at times when I size someone up, but I spend little time pondering over it. Life is far too short to worry about misjudging someone, when I know from experience, allowing such evil in your home is far more destructive than a misjudgment every now and then.
Initially, I grouped sociopaths and narcissists together, but I soon realized this was a mistake. You have to be careful, and closely study the elements of behaviors among these types of anti-social personality disordered individuals, because while there are definitely similarities, their patterns of behavior are distinctly different, and not being familiar with this reality will set you up for a crash and burn. It is only when we are blind to any truth about these types of individuals that we can be bitten.
Ask anyone, and you will quickly find that engaging in any type of relationship with a person who lacks a conscience is agonizingly unbearable. A narcopath, sociopath and narcissist uses the element of surprise to confuse the target of their abuse. Normal people are genuinely surprised and stunned when they see this explosive behavior and the lack of conscience afterwards. This shock or surprise is because most of us have never encountered such dark souls, and because of this, we Initially search for some level of understanding or explanation for their egregious behavior. It is this very human reaction that plays right into their hands, until it destroys you. It’s an annihilation of another human being done with impunity.
It is my mission to educate as many people as I can, so pain of this magnitude can be avoided. I want to help people see the truth, to know the signs of all these unconscionable individuals, regardless of what label you want to use. It’s my choice to bring an awareness of the prevalence of these disordered beings. Doing so, gives meaning to what I have experienced. My purpose is to educate and help everyone who has ever been in a similar situation, but if I only open the eyes of one individual, sparing him or her the pain I experienced, then I know I have accomplished much.
There certainly is an overlap of characteristics in the evilness these dark souls exhibit, but from my perspective the game is played quite differently between the, and if you aren’t careful your “ignorance” will be used against you in a subtle, yet devastating manner. THIS awareness makes it much less painful, but painful nonetheless. Because of my willingness to acknowledge that someone you deeply loved could betray you at such a depth, I was released from the debilitating destruction that I would have otherwise known. The variance in strategy between these dark souls is measurable and can catch you a bit off guard if you don’t consider the stark difference.
Let me end Part I of this topic by stating that I also learned the hard way that you have to let the anger go in order to get this sense of clarity, and to reach an understanding into the vastly different, although in some ways remarkably the same, strategies of these dark souls who operate without conscience. This isn't to say I haven't gotten angry with her or my son. It's just an observation that I have seen in myself. And what little psychology I did have in my undergrad education taught me that humans do not make wise decisions when in an angry state of mind. The brain functions differently when angry. Instead of rational higher thought, your brain signals come from your cortex, the most under-developed part of our brain. This is where the flight or fight response can be found.
Part II of this topic will follow and discuss the similarities and differences between the three groups.
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