Brief Explanation of Triangulation by the Narcissistic Sociopath

Healthy relationships thrive on security; unhealthy ones are filled with provocation, uncertainty and infidelity. If your partner constantly creates love triangles and brings in the opinions of others to validate her point of view, then you need to be aware that this behavior is considered emotional abuse, and a form of covert manipulation. She does this to an excessive extent in order to play puppeteer to your emotions. 

Triangulation is a popular way the narcissist maintains control over your emotions. Triangulation consists of bringing the presence of another person into the dynamic of the relationship, whether it be an ex-lover, a current interest, a relative, or a complete stranger.

This triangulation can take place over social media, in person, or even through the narcissist’s own verbal accounts of the other man. The narcissist relies on jealousy as a powerful emotion that can cause you to compete for her affections, so provocative statements like “I wish you’d be more like him,” or “He wants me back into his life, I don’t know what to do” are emotional abuse designed to trigger you into competing and feeling insecure about your position in the narcissist’s life.

Unlike healthy relationships where jealousy is communicated and dealt with in a productive manner, the narcissist will belittle your feelings and continue inappropriate flirtations and affairs without a second thought. 

Triangulation is the way the narcissist maintains control and keeps you in check — you’re so busy competing for her attention that you’re less likely to be focusing on the red flags within the relationship or looking for ways to get out of the relationship. This is only one of the manipulative ways a narcopath controls those in their lives.

Female Narcissistic Sociopaths Use Public Humiliation to Control Partners

It may seem funny or cute to the on-looker, but it’s a well-orchestrated planned character attack on a man she supposedly cares about. She will emasculate you by attacking your very core. She will attack you for past transgressions, never letting you put the past behind you. Why? Because she is a sadist bitch who uses public humiliation to keep you under her control. How? All with a look and appearance of innocence and playfulness – when in truth it is gut-wrenching for to you, this woman who is supposed to care about you rips you apart and never feels remorse.

When she first starts doing this you feel a tightness in your chest and gut, and when you lash back in anger, she tells you you’re being too sensitive, and to get over it “It was only a joke” “No one takes it seriously” she says to minimize the hurt she causes.

Does she stop when she sees that her “jokes” hurt you? No, she continues and eventually, she conditions you to absorb the guilt, shame and embarrassment, and like it. It is a sick twisted game she plays. I’ve witnessed Nikki Miller doing this time and time again. And to make it even more embarrassing, she can always count on her flying monkeys to join in on the attack, all under the guise of playful banter, but make no mistake, she is a sheep in wolf’s clothing and will not stop until she has completely destroyed the man you used to be.

Should someone with a conscious point this out, she will not only dismiss the criticizer and the criticism as unjust, her control over you is so complete, you will go on the attack, just to appease her, and, of course, as usual, she will play the poor victim role to a tee. 

Have you ever tried turning the tables on her, and playful make jabs about her past and current mistakes? Like her cheating on you or her stealing your property or her taking your entire paycheck and leaving you broke, etc? I guarantee you will see that narcissistic rage rise. She will cry and play the victim to your meanness, and all her flying monkeys will come to her defense, even though you were only “joking”. A narcopath only has a sense of humor when the joke is on you – never forget this.

Avoiding Reality Is Dangerous Business When In A Relationship With A Narcissistic Sociopath

I heard some one once describe denial like this, It's like covering your eyes and walking straight across a busy highway. Now that denial is gonna hurt!

By not seeing yourself or a situation for how it really is you can't possibly react, behave or respond appropriately.  We all have a certain degree of warped reality.  There are certain things in all our lives that we either can't or won't face the reality of or we don't even know that we are not seeing the realty.

By responding to a situation with beliefs that are not real for so long sets up patterns of destructive behaviors which can adversely affect our well-being.

Denial is sometimes intentional.  Sometimes it's easier to think a certain way about things than to face the reality of them.  An obvious example would be a bad relationship.  We will "overlook" bad behavior and even abuse from other people in order to avoid the reality of the relationship.  Then guess what?  We suffer.  We let ourselves be hurt over and over and we stay attached to some one that chips away at our soul.

This affects our self worth, self esteem and our strength as a human. We feel weak. We may develop anxiety, emotional disorders and physical health issues. This all stems from denial.

We avoid reality and live in denial out of fear.  Fear of the unknown, fear of facing change, fear of something unfamiliar.  Denial allows us to NOT CHANGE!  Changing takes work.

How do we face reality?

First of all you must have the ability to be honest with yourself.  Even those individuals that have mental health issues have the ability to be honest with themselves.  Some people just don't.  This is a sad reality.You must have a strong, realistic person in your life to help you process your truth and call you on your stuff!

You must be willing and ready to make some serious changes.

You must be willing to allow yourself to feel peace and happiness.

OK, no one likes it when some one calls you on stuff. But if you have some one in your life that can do it appropriately they are exactly the kind of people you want in your life.  They will gently help you see the reality of things and they will be there to help you process it.  Some times we are so warped and think a certain way about things our whole lives that we have to have an outside perspective to find a new way of thinking.

What does happen when you face reality? Once you see a behavior, thought pattern or situation for what it really is, you can't possibly go on living with it.  If we do then we are no longer victims we are full-on volunteers!

Don't panic.  Most changes are simply the way we think about things and see things.  They are simple, but we just don't see them.  We just need an enlightenment or an Aha moment. Most changes are small yet life changing.  They are just unfamiliar and different for us.  Having a counselor, spiritual adviser, coach or consultant with a detached perspective to help you in the process is the only way to do this.  They won't tell you what you want to hear and they won't be clouded by emotions and personal history. You can't do this alone. YOUR thinking is what got you to where you are right now.

There are number of ways to start finding the reality of things.  Start by looking at all your relationships.  Is there a pattern of behavior in your partner that never changes? Do you ignore or look the other way when promises she made to you are broken or left unfulfilled? Does your partner cause you anxiety when you're with her? Are you afraid to say what you feel for fear of the narcissistic rage you've experienced in the past? Are you avoiding certain people or situations because of this relationship? 

Do you want to be joyful and live the best life you can?  Do you really?  Knowing the truth is always best, even if it's not the truth you want.  Imagine yourself knowing the truth about why you feel certain ways, think certain ways, behave certain ways. Most of the time when you do this and accept it, you can actually look back and laugh at yourself.  And imagine the freedom of knowing you never have to follow old destructive patterns out of a warped reality or denial again. Imagine having healthy behaviors and responses to people and situation that used to mess you up.

Proxy Recruitment

A narcissistic sociopath will attack you, malign your character and tell lies about you to anyone who will listen. They will recruit their flying monkeys to do the same. She may even manipulate a few into carrying through with her threats of violence. do that. She wants to pull the strings, call the shots, and be in control of it all, but stay in the background, so she can give the appearance of innocence. This is what all narcissistic sociopaths do.

Manipulation Changes Good Men

Her Smear Campaign

It Always Goes Back To Control