7 Benefts of Coloring Therapy

Coloring Therapy To Accelerate Recovery From Abusive Relationship

Have you scoffed at the idea of the theory that coloring is psychologically beneficial to adults? Maybe you are too quick to judge. Experts say coloring helps to calm the amygdala, the part of the brain that controls our emotions and senses. Not to mention, coloring is far less expensive that the going hourly rate of a therapist.
 It has been known for eons of time that color plays a major role in setting up a particular mood or state of mind. Color does affect one's feelings, moods, and emotions. Colors are certain wavelengths of electro-magnetic energy seen through our eyes. The color we see is the part of the visible spectrum that is reflected back by a certain object.

1.  Color is one of the languages of the soul, just look at inspired or meditative paintings.
2. Colors, and coloring, influence our mood and emotions.
3. Coloring has an impact on our sense of well-being, acting as a de-stessor.
4. Using and avoiding certain colors is a way of self-expression; it sheds light on our personality.
5. Colors have a symbolic meaning which is immediately recognized by our subconscious. It must be said that not all colors mean the same to all persons and all cultures.
6. Our choice of colors influence the flow and amount of energy in our bodies.
7. Coloring increases your creativity and this builds a person’s confidence in themselves and gives them a feeling of accomplishment.

 Coloring is a healing technique that essentially “jump starts” us, elevating serotin levels that raise our feeling of self-worth, and gives us an added boost of energy. It’s this energy boost that allows our own internal healing mechanism to mobilize into greater activity, and this benefits us by accelerating the healing process.
 So, before you scoff the next time someone mentions coloring therapy, grab a coloring book and some crayons first.
Help me give back to those who supported me when I was at the end of my rope, and thought I had nothing left to live for anymore. Get your first (or second) coloring therapy book FREE with your purchase of a t-shirt with a custom designed logo that tells the world you are a survivor.
Victims of abuse benefit in at least two ways each time one of these custom designed T-shirts is purchased. Monetarily, abuse victims received a percentage of the proceeds from each shirt sold. This donation is vital to agencies whose mission it is to provide assistance and guidance in helping abuse victims grow to be a survivor like you. Another way you help those struggling with recovery is by witnessing to them without ever saying a word. They will find strength and healing in your victory of the message you proudly wear. Your greatest gift back to the Universe will be to help guide others from the dark side back to the living. Be someone's inspiration! There is power in your healed scars. Sure, it's only a shirt you say, but it is a shirt with a powerful message. If only one person sees it and decides their life is worth fighting for, then you've touched a life whether you ever spoke to that person or no, isn't this alone, worth the asking price of ONLY $24.99? Order yours now! Also, every one who purchases a T-shirt will receive a FREE Color Therapy Coloring Book (valued at $12.99). FREE shipping to U.S.A. addresses.
Reposted from Dark Souls.

Narcopath Uses Shame & Embarrassment To Control You

 A narcopath will use your past mistakes to control you by constantly throwing it in your face and humiliating you by announcing it in public, regardless of how far back in time you made them. Even if she didn't know you when it happened, if you make the mistake (another one) of confiding in her about something you regret from your past, she will use it to make you feel ashamed and embarrassed.  She will use this in making broad, sweeping statements about your character and integrity.

It doesn't even have to be a mistake. It can be something that is just personal and private to you. Something you would only feel comfortable saying to one you love and trust with your heart. We all have done this in relationships. The one big caveat is that both partners understanding the trust and confidence being placed on each other when we share our most inner selves. If you think back, you will remember this went on in every relationship you ever had, but when the end came and you parted ways, did you ever break out into a cold sweat wondering what this person was going to do with your private information? No. It likely never even entered mind, because normal people don’t disclose things told to them in confidence. Did it ever occur to you to blab a former partner’s deepest darkest secrets? No. Why? Because she trusted you and the fact that the love didn’t last doesn’t change that fact. Why? Because you have a conscience. Between two normal people sharing secrets comes up innocently in a relationship. It’s just one of those mysteries of falling in love.
If your partner has ever embarrassed you or shamed you by bringing up something you told her in confidence, then chances are very good your partner is an emotionally abusive individual. If she continues to do so, and refuses to stop, then I’d say you’re with a narcopath. A person with a conscience does not do things like this. This is one of the ways a narcopath destroys your trust in other people. From this day forward, how comfortable will you ever be with someone once you have been betrayed in such a manner.

Here’s an example. How it came up escapes you, but at some point you confide in your partner that you were a bed-wetter until you were 10. You would never tell this to a mere acquaintance, much less to someone who didn’t like you. Why? Because you don’t have an expectation that this individual will keep your secret. This is something you could only share with one you completely trusted. When you told your new partner this little secret, she was very understanding, and you felt good knowing you could tell her anything. She totally understands you and loves you. Fast forward…
How would something like this ever be used against you, you ask? Let me count the ways. Several months, maybe a year into the relationship, she begins acting differently, you can't quite put your finger on it. Something is changing in the relationship, but you can't quite put your finger on it. All relationships move through stages, much like the seasons. For normal relationships, this is a natural progression as love grows and matures. But, what your feeling isn't comfortable or natural feeling. You're beginning to notice a distance or unhappiness when you look at your "soul mate". You ask and she tells you she’s fine, but you have an unsettling feeling in your gut that you can't quite explain. You call her or send her a text, and she doesn’t respond. This isn’t like her. What is going on? You decide to surprise her at work. Then it happens. BAM! Without warning, she flies into a rage like you’ve never seen. She is yelling at you in front of the world about how useless you are, how lazy you are, and this goes on while you are in a state of shock and confusion. You are embarrassed and trying to get her to calm down, but nothing is working. Then, it happens, she asks anyone within earshot if they think a child who wets the bed at 10 is just being lazy? All she needs is for one person to agree, and your secret is secret no more. Or she announces to everyone in earshot that the reason you are such a flawed man is your mother “allowed” you to wet bed until you were 10, and this is the reason you are such a loser. What do you do? You freeze. You can’t even think straight at the moment. All you know is the woman you love is totally humiliating you and you have to play it off or something until you can get out of there. Doesn’t make sense to me or any other normal person, but it does to her. It is a way to control you.

Later when you two are alone, and you’re still trying figure out what the hell happened, she’ll tell you that you left dirty dishes in the sink or you forgot to send her a good morning text. You will have no clue what set her off. She’ll apologize for telling your secrets, but she’ll add, that if you hadn’t forgotten to send her that text, none of this would have happened. That’s not an apology, folks. That’s justifying bad behavior and blaming the target of your childish tirade for making her do it. And she will do it again, and again, and again. She not only doesn’t care that it bothers you, she ENJOYS the fact that it bothers you. You walk on egg shells every time someone mentions bed-wetting, your heart beat speeds up, because you know she’s going to humiliate and embarrass you once again. She uses shame to first destroy your self-worth, then silence you. You try to ward it off, but it’s coming and you know it. Why do you stay?

This is the discard phase of your relationship. You find yourself trapped in an abusive cyclic relationship.  She wants a new “soul mate”, BUT she wants you to be available for her. You still love her, and in your mind, you think if you give her some space she’ll come back and everything will be fine again. And she does, and it is…for another few months, before it starts all over again. STOP IT!! Get off this roller coaster. You are the only one being destroyed through it all. She will never stop being the monster you see in the discard phase, and the longer the relationship goes on, the longer the discard phase. She keeps telling you how you are the reason she feels how she does, and if you only did this, or did that, then maybe she would feel differently. So you make changes, and surprisingly, it works! STOP IT. Get off the roller coaster. The next time she will raise the bar higher. She has you so focused on the fact that its all your fault and on your efforts to “fix” yourself, that she does whatever the hell she wants to do, and just dares you to say anything about it. This is exactly how my son’s girlfriend behaves. My son has given up everything for her. She keeps telling him if only he did this that, then he would be good enough. It’s never enough, and it never will be. She trashes him and anyone who gets in her way with every secret or mistake ever made, regardless of how long ago it may have occurred.

Yet, she conveniently refuses to acknowledge her own specific mistakes and bad judgment calls, but never misses an opportunity to remind anyone of their past. Oh, she’ll never admit she’s perfect. In a very general way she sweeps her past under the carpet, but, if you dare attempt to tell her she isn't perfect by pointing out her specific mistakes or secrets, she flies into a narcissistic rage.

Flying Monkeys Are Essential To The Smear Campaign

The point of a smear campaign is to discredit you and make you look crazy, while making the toxic individual who has targeted you out to be the healthy one. She believes you will react like everyone else she has smeared, that by slandering you and smearing your name no one will believe you when you tell them what she’s really done. Instead, she wants you to look like the hateful, unstable one. She will stop at nothing at her sick game. She uses people like normal people use Kleenex. Her tactic is to start spreading lies and gossip about you before you are even aware of what she was doing. Narcissistic sociopaths use this tactic because it puts the target of any smear campaign behind the 8 ball from the get-go, and her smear campaign of you will be well underway before you even realize this person has a problem with you. This tactic has always worked for the narcopath in keeping her victims quiet – they are too embarrassed to say anything or already getting shunned by her friends who believe the lies. Don’t let her silence you. Let her know she’s focused on the wrong person this time. Sure, there will be those people who will believe regardless of any direct proof you may have. I call these people her flying monkeys. Remember the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz and how she corrupted her army of flying monkeys? Same concept.

I am not suggesting you put yourself in harm’s way or even confront this toxic person. I am just letting you know that you can remain quiet and hope she goes away for as long as you can stand it, and in the end, it didn’t matter. She will continue to slander you and turn people against you. All your silence does is enable her more. You’ll keep thinking it will pass over, but believe me, it will not.

Don’t let this toxic person silence you. This is in essence allowing her to control you.

Slandering You With Her Smear Campaign While Playing the Victim

Narcissistic sociopaths will often use more than one of these manipulation tactics together. For example, this is one of the favorite maneuvers of the toxic person who targeted me. She will verbally assault me or slander me on her Facebook page, then scapegoat by telling everyone I attacked her, all the while wrapping her words up in fake despair and concern. This is her concealing her abuse by playing the victim while vilifying the true victim. She then tells everyone who will listen how she was verbally attacked by me. She didn't even let up when my father-in-law passed away, and then had the audacity to flip the facts, claiming she is the innocent victim and I was attacking her. Serious mental issues with this toxic sub-human.

This is often how she conceals her abuse, garners pity, and rallies the flying monkeys for abuse by proxy. This is exactly how they are able to destroy families and relationships that may never heal. A toxic person has no conscience, so she will never feel guilty about anything she says or does, even when she knows her behavior is destroying people. This isn't normal. Could you do this to anyone without one bit of remorse? I couldn't. Not even to her.

The Smear Campaign to Inflict Abuse By Proxy

As is a common trait with narcissistic sociopath, in virtually every story they tell, they are either the innocent victim or the hero – or both. They loves manipulating their flying monkeys with guilt and pity. So attacking you, then flipping the tale to portray themselves as the innocent victim not only garners pity for themselves, but by making you out to be one who is toxic,  they gets to inflict more hurt and pain through the actions of their flying monkeys. I call this abuse by proxy. These individuals intentionally triangulate in order to manipulate others into doing their bidding.

The Smear Campaign Wrapped in Fake Concern

Another under-handed trait of a narcissistic sociopath – they gossip about you without appearing to be slandering you - they pretend to be concerned about you when they tell your family and friends that you are on drugs, or stealing money from your boss or whatever lie they think will hurt you the most. They do this in order to be seen as a concerned, caring person over what you are doing, when in fact, you aren't doing any of the horrible things they are talking about. Another ploy is to talk about how concerned she is over your mental state, when in reality, they are the one with serious mental issues. They will use your justified anger as proof of your mental instability and make you look like the crazy one.

A Narcopath's Thinking on the Smear Campaign

A narcissistic sociopath does not play fair, but rather is vicious and dirty while telling themselves you deserve it. I am convinced these people know what they are doing is wrong, but they don't care. They will even gloat to you about how much smarter they are than you to be able to convince others that you are crazy. If a normal healthy person did something as devious, backstabbing and vicious, they would likely reflect on it and feel remorse. I know I would. A narcopath would not, simply because they have no remorse for anything they do if their actions get them what they want, which is you to be shunned by everyone and made an outcast. Do not ever look for an apology. Instead, if you watch closely you’ll see a smirk on their face when they know they have conned someone into believing the worst lies about you. I am convinced they get a rush of superiority, as well as satisfaction of believing they have "won". (EVERYTHING IS A GAME TO THESE TOXIC PEOPLE).

Perfect Example of Narcopath's Grandiosity

This is an example of Nikki Miller's abusive character, and evidence of her distorted belief that my life revolves around her.
Now, I spent most of the day with a family member who has stage 3 lymphoma and is in town at the hospital receiving chemotherapy, but this narcopath wants everyone, especially my son, to believe I spent the entire day trying to find something to write about for this blog. She also demands I stop tagging her name. I have on numerous other articles, but not this one. Did she even bother to see before she started running her mouth, because I can tell you with almost absolute certainty that if she put it in a comment to me, the she was playing the victim role to the hilt and telling anyone who would listen that I tagged her name in the article she commented on. I wonder if any one of her flying monkeys had the guts to tell her, her name was not tagged. I doubt it.

Similarities & Differences Between the Narcopath, the Sociopath & the Malignant Narcissist

Abuse comes in many forms and affects many people in the abuser’s partner’s life. Emotional, physical, and sexual abuses are equally degrading and harmful. One is not better than the other, nor worse than the other. They are ALL abuse, and cause unfathomable anguish and psychological pain beyond measure.
My story is specifically about emotional abuse at the hands of a narcissistic sociopath, or as I call her, a narcopath.
I’m often asked about the differences between a psychopath, sociopath, malignant narcissist and a narcissistic sociopath (narcopath). I think it would be easier to set out the similarities between the three at the outset. First, while we use the terms psychopath and sociopath for different reasons, the psychology profession considers the sociopath and psychopath to basically be one and the same thing. However, all four groups are classified as personality disorders of varying degrees.
Please understand that this article is not an exhaustive description of any of these personality-disordered types. If you suspect you are dating or working with either a malignant narcissist, psycho/sociopath or narcissistic sociopath, you may want to do further research in order to have a deeper grasp of the dynamics involved in continuing the relationship. All four groups are made up of both genders - this article uses the she/her convention.
As I have said before, I am not trained in psychiatry or psychology, however, I feel comfortable in saying that I have a high degree of expertise in understanding the behaviors and patterns of narcissistic sociopathy. My knowledge didn't come from a text book, it came from being personally attacked, slandered and libeled by a narcopath for the past  three years.  She has destroyed our once close family unit, and turned my only son against his entire family. Out of despair and heart-breaking pain due to her insidious and destructive behavior came a clarity and wisdom you can't learn from a text book. In a odd way, I look upon my experience with a sense of gratitude. It has given me the ability to see things much more clearly.  I have studied and learned the patterns of these types of personality disordered individuals. While they share many common traits, they vary greatly in their differences. This awareness can be quite empowering. Knowing the how of her manipulative mind grants me, at varying levels, power over her “games”. This I know. My experience has given me a purpose. I want to educate as many people as I can about these truly evil dark souls that live among us.
When I first started researching her behavior, the amount of information was simply overwhelming. I had to break it down into smaller chunks so that I could absorb the information. I finally listed all the traits I found in her that were listed in the Diagnostic and Statisical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) for narcissist, psycho/sociopath. It was here I first heard the term narcissistic sociopath. Educating myself on the basics of how to discern the difference between the personality types is where I decided was the place to start, so this was my focus for the first year.
Learning the traits, patterns, and deviant behaviors—the “red flags”—out of the confusion and pain, I gained some much needed clarity. This clarity of vision gives me the ability to steer clear of these types of individuals. I believe I spot them pretty easily. Sure, it’s possible that I could be mistaken at times when I size someone up, but I spend little time pondering over it. Life is far too short to worry about misjudging someone, when I know from experience, allowing such evil in your home is far more destructive than a misjudgment every now and then.
Initially, I grouped sociopaths and narcissists together, but I soon realized this was a mistake. You have to be careful, and closely study the elements of behaviors among these types of anti-social personality disordered individuals, because while there are definitely similarities, their patterns of behavior are distinctly different, and not being familiar with this reality will set you up for a crash and burn.  It is only when we are blind to any truth about these types of individuals that we can be bitten.
Ask anyone, and you will quickly find that engaging in any type of relationship with a person who lacks a conscience is agonizingly unbearable.  A narcopath, sociopath and narcissist uses the element of surprise to confuse the target of their abuse. Normal people are genuinely surprised and stunned when they see this explosive behavior and the lack of conscience afterwards. This shock or surprise is because most of us have never encountered such dark souls, and because of this, we Initially search for some level of understanding or explanation for their egregious behavior. It is this very human reaction that plays right into their hands, until it destroys you. It’s an annihilation of another human being done with impunity.
It is my mission to educate as many people as I can, so pain of this magnitude can be avoided. I want to help people see the truth, to know the signs of all these unconscionable individuals, regardless of what label you want to use. It’s my choice to bring an awareness of the prevalence of these disordered beings. Doing so, gives meaning to what I have experienced. My purpose is to educate and help everyone who has ever been in a similar situation, but if I only open the eyes of one individual, sparing him or her the pain I experienced, then I know I have accomplished much.
There certainly is an overlap of characteristics in the evilness these dark souls exhibit, but from my perspective the game is played quite differently between the, and if you aren’t careful your “ignorance” will be used against you in a subtle, yet devastating manner.  THIS awareness makes it much less painful, but painful nonetheless. Because of my willingness to acknowledge that someone you deeply loved could betray you at such a depth, I was released from the debilitating destruction that I would have otherwise known. The variance in strategy between these dark souls is measurable and can catch you a bit off guard if you don’t consider the stark difference.
Let me end Part I of this topic by stating that I also learned the hard way that you have to let the anger go in order to get this sense of clarity, and to reach an understanding into the vastly different, although in some ways remarkably the same, strategies of these dark souls who operate without conscience. This isn't to say I haven't gotten angry with her or my son. It's just an observation that I have seen in myself. And what little psychology I did have in my undergrad education taught me that humans do not make wise decisions when in an angry state of mind. The brain functions differently when angry. Instead of rational higher thought, your brain signals come from your cortex, the most under-developed part of our brain. This is where the flight or fight response can be found.
Part II of this topic will follow and discuss the similarities and differences between the three groups.

A Cheating Narcopath

Have you ever caught your partner cheating, and the first thing out of her mouth is to call you jealous? Is this not the most twisted thing you've ever heard?

The Double Standards Of A Hypocrite

How The Narcopath Gets Away With Her Ugliness For So Long

The narcopath is able to hide her ugliness from so many of us for so long because most normal people trust what they are told to be the truth. This is the very reason why gossip spreads so quickly. 

When a co-worker or friend tells you how abusive or controlling her partner is, do you question her truthfulness? No. Why not? Because when someone is confiding in you, you assume she is being truthful. A narcopath uses this natural tendency to destroy whomever her target is at the moment, be it her soon to be ex, her mother, her partner, etc. Her smear campaign is a pre-emptive strike, and usually starts before the target of her smear campaign is even aware the narcopath doesn't like him/her.

Even when the target becomes aware of the slanderous gossip being spread by the narcopath, he will encounter another phenomenon if he tries to defend himself. When he stats telling these same people that the narcopath is lying and telling them how horrible of a person she is, he will find that most people don't believe him. They look at the narcopath and see the fake persona she's created and cannot fathom that this sweet, innocent thing would ever do anything so ugly.

Unless someone is intimately familiar with a narcopath (narcissistic sociopath), chances are they'll have a hard time comprehending how someone can seem so nice, yet be so malicious. When I first became re-acquainted with Nikki Miller two years ago, I had no reason to doubt anything she told me, and chances are I would have questioned your veracity if you told me that she was a narcopath – it just didn’t fit with the persona she showed us.

False Allegations of Abuse

I've heard of women who made such allegations, but I've never really looked into it. Today I heard from a friend that its happening to her son. Read here: False allegations of rape on the rise

She Has No Regard Whatsoever For The Emotional Pain She Inflicts On Others

Cycle of Abuse

What Is Nikki Miller Really Thinking When It Comes To Men Like My Son

If you could read the mind of a toxic narcopath, I'm sure you would find one of these one-sided conversations going on in his/her morally-disordered mind:

You don’t know me.  You may think you do but you don’t. You don’t know me because I mirrored the traits I saw in you – traits the real me lacks. You think you are the same person you were when we first met, but you aren’t. You are a pathetic excuse for a man who worships at my feet. I created you and made you what you are today. The man you were before you met me would never put up with my abuse, but this new man does. You are what I have manipulated you into becoming, and yet you can’t even see I have taken control of your life, your mind, your very soul. My control over you is total and complete. You don't even question anything I do anymore. I will use you, lie to you, cheat on you, but no matter what I do, you will never leave me, because you can't live without me. I am your addiction now. And when I kick you out and move another man in, you will beg me to take you back, and after I've had my little fun, I'll let you come back, and you will always come back. I love puppets.

You may think you know me but you don’t. You don’t know the real me   I have spent years fabricating my false exterior and fabricated many masks, masks I change depending on who I’m with and what I want at the moment. My lies are now the truth; they are my truth… but you can never see through my facade because I play my part so perfectly, so flawlessly and with such charisma. Of course, I would never admit it – not to you, not to anyone.

You think you know me  but you don’t. You are a fool. You are a fool for allowing me to control you the way I do and yet you don’t even realize that I’m doing it. That makes you less of a person than me and deserving of being controlled in such a way. That makes me omnipotent; I never feel guilty about anything I do or anyone I hurt. I actually have no regrets about anything I have ever done to you. I have no morals or sense of loyalty to anyone, but I keep this as my little secret. If you really paid attention to what I say and do, you would certainly see my moral code is fake, and this is why I have to keep you so confused. The world calls this a lack of conscience, I call it a  special gift that I have and you don’t.

You believe my lies, and no matter what you see or hear that clearly shows me to be a liar, you will continue to believe my lies. Isn't life grand! ...But, should you ever see what I really am and attempt to expose my secret power then you will feel my wrath; you will pay the price.

Narcopath And Morally-Disordered

Two new terms I found this week are narcopath and morally-disordered.

Narcopath is used to describe several types of anti-socials, primarily malignant narcissists and narcissistic sociopaths. Really just a shorthand descriptor. I like it.

I ran across the term “morally-disordered” as an identifier of the narcopath. Most scholars refer to narcopaths as “personality-disordered”, and always list lack of conscience, no moral compass, lack of empathy, etc as generally recognized traits of people found to be narcopaths. These people appear to operate without a normal moral compass, yet they are fully aware of what they are doing. They aren't crazy or out of touch with reality, or at least their own version of it. They knowingly, and with the full use of reason, select a particular target for destruction.

They ruin reputations, relationships, and even livelihoods with impunity. They don't appear to suffer any interior turmoil because of their behavior.

Everything they do to harm someone else is a choice. They also have sufficient time to reflect upon their actions, because bringing another person down requires a lot of advance planning and manipulation of everyone else in the environment. This all reflects an underlying lack of morals.

Yes, they certainly may have a personality disorder, but they definitely are morally-disordered. Don’t you agree?

The Silent Treatment - Devastating & Destructive

Never EVER Let A Narcissistic Sociopath Intimidate You Into Silence

She Labels Anyone As Crazy That Won't Play Her Game

When I first met her, it seemed as if everyone she talked about was either crazy or a user. She never mentioned normal people in her past, only those who were crazy and/or abusive.

Re-writing Past History

Always beware of anyone who denies past events or their own past mistakes.

She Will Focus On Any Mistake Of Yours, While Ignoring Her Own

Why The Pathological Jealousy and Total Distrust?

Easy answer. A cheater and a liar either believes that if she is cheating and lying, then her partner could just as easily do the same, or she is a narcissistic sociopath who projects her own destructive behavior on her partner to deflect attention away from him finding out she is doing the very things she is accusing him of doing. Sick, huh?

She NEVER Accepts Responsibility For The Evil Things She Does

She Uses Facebook to Manipulate

Thank You Readers!

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Enter Nikki Miller & Her Exit

She's Evil AND Will Always Be The Victim

The one thing that a narcissistic sociopath is good at is playing the victim.

When you first meet her, she will tell you stories about how horrific her ex was to her and her kids.You won’t know it at the time, but she is accusing her ex of what she was guilty of doing herself during the relationship. If she cheated or was abusive, then she will tell you that he did these things. She will tell you how psycho her ex was and how difficult he was to live with, when the truth is just the opposite. Bank on it.

Whatever lies you are fed, she will be sure she paints herself in a good light and as the victim in the story. She is great at turning on the waterworks and giving a good sob story. You will be made to feel that the only reason she’s confiding these things in you is because she trusts you with this painful and embarrassing information. You will feel so special you are the one she has chosen to confide her deepest “secrets” (AKA her lies), and she will ask you not to say anything to anyone because its just too embarrassing, when the truth of the matter is, she doesn’t want you engaging in a conversation about her psycho ex simply because you may just hear the REAL truth. You will be manipulated to think ‘I would never treat you this way‘. Narcissistic sociopaths use this to test how giving you are, how caring you are and how easily she can manipulate and control you.

And The Craziness Starts

Narcissistic Sociopath Traits

Brief Explanation of Triangulation by the Narcissistic Sociopath

Healthy relationships thrive on security; unhealthy ones are filled with provocation, uncertainty and infidelity. If your partner constantly creates love triangles and brings in the opinions of others to validate her point of view, then you need to be aware that this behavior is considered emotional abuse, and a form of covert manipulation. She does this to an excessive extent in order to play puppeteer to your emotions. 

Triangulation is a popular way the narcissist maintains control over your emotions. Triangulation consists of bringing the presence of another person into the dynamic of the relationship, whether it be an ex-lover, a current interest, a relative, or a complete stranger.

This triangulation can take place over social media, in person, or even through the narcissist’s own verbal accounts of the other man. The narcissist relies on jealousy as a powerful emotion that can cause you to compete for her affections, so provocative statements like “I wish you’d be more like him,” or “He wants me back into his life, I don’t know what to do” are emotional abuse designed to trigger you into competing and feeling insecure about your position in the narcissist’s life.

Unlike healthy relationships where jealousy is communicated and dealt with in a productive manner, the narcissist will belittle your feelings and continue inappropriate flirtations and affairs without a second thought. 

Triangulation is the way the narcissist maintains control and keeps you in check — you’re so busy competing for her attention that you’re less likely to be focusing on the red flags within the relationship or looking for ways to get out of the relationship. This is only one of the manipulative ways a narcopath controls those in their lives.

Female Narcissistic Sociopaths Use Public Humiliation to Control Partners

It may seem funny or cute to the on-looker, but it’s a well-orchestrated planned character attack on a man she supposedly cares about. She will emasculate you by attacking your very core. She will attack you for past transgressions, never letting you put the past behind you. Why? Because she is a sadist bitch who uses public humiliation to keep you under her control. How? All with a look and appearance of innocence and playfulness – when in truth it is gut-wrenching for to you, this woman who is supposed to care about you rips you apart and never feels remorse.

When she first starts doing this you feel a tightness in your chest and gut, and when you lash back in anger, she tells you you’re being too sensitive, and to get over it “It was only a joke” “No one takes it seriously” she says to minimize the hurt she causes.

Does she stop when she sees that her “jokes” hurt you? No, she continues and eventually, she conditions you to absorb the guilt, shame and embarrassment, and like it. It is a sick twisted game she plays. I’ve witnessed Nikki Miller doing this time and time again. And to make it even more embarrassing, she can always count on her flying monkeys to join in on the attack, all under the guise of playful banter, but make no mistake, she is a sheep in wolf’s clothing and will not stop until she has completely destroyed the man you used to be.

Should someone with a conscious point this out, she will not only dismiss the criticizer and the criticism as unjust, her control over you is so complete, you will go on the attack, just to appease her, and, of course, as usual, she will play the poor victim role to a tee. 

Have you ever tried turning the tables on her, and playful make jabs about her past and current mistakes? Like her cheating on you or her stealing your property or her taking your entire paycheck and leaving you broke, etc? I guarantee you will see that narcissistic rage rise. She will cry and play the victim to your meanness, and all her flying monkeys will come to her defense, even though you were only “joking”. A narcopath only has a sense of humor when the joke is on you – never forget this.

Avoiding Reality Is Dangerous Business When In A Relationship With A Narcissistic Sociopath

I heard some one once describe denial like this, It's like covering your eyes and walking straight across a busy highway. Now that denial is gonna hurt!

By not seeing yourself or a situation for how it really is you can't possibly react, behave or respond appropriately.  We all have a certain degree of warped reality.  There are certain things in all our lives that we either can't or won't face the reality of or we don't even know that we are not seeing the realty.

By responding to a situation with beliefs that are not real for so long sets up patterns of destructive behaviors which can adversely affect our well-being.

Denial is sometimes intentional.  Sometimes it's easier to think a certain way about things than to face the reality of them.  An obvious example would be a bad relationship.  We will "overlook" bad behavior and even abuse from other people in order to avoid the reality of the relationship.  Then guess what?  We suffer.  We let ourselves be hurt over and over and we stay attached to some one that chips away at our soul.

This affects our self worth, self esteem and our strength as a human. We feel weak. We may develop anxiety, emotional disorders and physical health issues. This all stems from denial.

We avoid reality and live in denial out of fear.  Fear of the unknown, fear of facing change, fear of something unfamiliar.  Denial allows us to NOT CHANGE!  Changing takes work.

How do we face reality?

First of all you must have the ability to be honest with yourself.  Even those individuals that have mental health issues have the ability to be honest with themselves.  Some people just don't.  This is a sad reality.You must have a strong, realistic person in your life to help you process your truth and call you on your stuff!

You must be willing and ready to make some serious changes.

You must be willing to allow yourself to feel peace and happiness.

OK, no one likes it when some one calls you on stuff. But if you have some one in your life that can do it appropriately they are exactly the kind of people you want in your life.  They will gently help you see the reality of things and they will be there to help you process it.  Some times we are so warped and think a certain way about things our whole lives that we have to have an outside perspective to find a new way of thinking.

What does happen when you face reality? Once you see a behavior, thought pattern or situation for what it really is, you can't possibly go on living with it.  If we do then we are no longer victims we are full-on volunteers!

Don't panic.  Most changes are simply the way we think about things and see things.  They are simple, but we just don't see them.  We just need an enlightenment or an Aha moment. Most changes are small yet life changing.  They are just unfamiliar and different for us.  Having a counselor, spiritual adviser, coach or consultant with a detached perspective to help you in the process is the only way to do this.  They won't tell you what you want to hear and they won't be clouded by emotions and personal history. You can't do this alone. YOUR thinking is what got you to where you are right now.

There are number of ways to start finding the reality of things.  Start by looking at all your relationships.  Is there a pattern of behavior in your partner that never changes? Do you ignore or look the other way when promises she made to you are broken or left unfulfilled? Does your partner cause you anxiety when you're with her? Are you afraid to say what you feel for fear of the narcissistic rage you've experienced in the past? Are you avoiding certain people or situations because of this relationship? 

Do you want to be joyful and live the best life you can?  Do you really?  Knowing the truth is always best, even if it's not the truth you want.  Imagine yourself knowing the truth about why you feel certain ways, think certain ways, behave certain ways. Most of the time when you do this and accept it, you can actually look back and laugh at yourself.  And imagine the freedom of knowing you never have to follow old destructive patterns out of a warped reality or denial again. Imagine having healthy behaviors and responses to people and situation that used to mess you up.

Proxy Recruitment

A narcissistic sociopath will attack you, malign your character and tell lies about you to anyone who will listen. They will recruit their flying monkeys to do the same. She may even manipulate a few into carrying through with her threats of violence. do that. She wants to pull the strings, call the shots, and be in control of it all, but stay in the background, so she can give the appearance of innocence. This is what all narcissistic sociopaths do.

Manipulation Changes Good Men

Her Smear Campaign

It Always Goes Back To Control

Proxy Recruitment AKA The Flying Monkeys

Proxy Recruitment is a way narcissistic sociopaths have of controlling or abusing another person by manipulating other people into unwittingly backing them up, speaking for them or “doing their dirty work” for them.

Narcissistic Sociopaths Lie In Order To Dominate Others

Because relationships are games to them, and because they view other people as objects and feel completely justified in exploiting them, psychopaths know that deception creates an uneven playing field. Lying is integral to impression management and mirroring; the lies enable NSs to present false images of themselves to potential targets. Those targets lose the ability to make safe and appropriate decisions. They enter into the relationships, unaware of the danger in store for them. Then, once the targets are hooked, NSs continue to use lies, along with a sprinkling of truth, in a multitude of ways, to ensure that their targets keep “playing.” They lie to cover up cheating, alcoholism, drug use, and sometimes various illegal activities. They lie through evasion and by withholding information. They lie as a form of gaslighting, in order to increase their control over their targets by making them constantly question themselves. They often repeatedly tell the ultimate lie, that they “love” their targets. And, they lie just for the fun of it. 

Professional Liars

Pathological lying and psychopathy are inextricably linked.

Unfortunately, the above truth is obscured by a popular, and dangerous, assumption that exists within our society; it is even supported by research. This assumption is:everyone lies. Since everyone does it, since lying is apparently so universal and typical, it follows that it must not be that bad. Right? Wrong. 

Yes, almost all of us have told white lies to spare others’ feelings or with the intention of protecting others. And normal people lie to hide the shame they feel about wrongdoings or because they fear the consequences of their mistakes. But, there are other people who lie habitually, with the intent to deceive and manipulate others for their own personal gain, and they do not feel bad about doing it. In fact, they revel in it. These people are pathological liars, and they are narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths and any malignant combination of the three. 

After much research, I have concluded that all pathological and compulsive liars have personality disorders, and those disorders can be placed on a psychopathic spectrum. 

Pathological lying is the opposite of normal. I will repeat that: pathological lying is the opposite of normal! 

It is irrelevant that researchers have discovered evidence that everyone lies in one way or another. Not only are most lies damaging, psychopathic lies are beyond the scope of what most people can even imagine when they think about lying. When someone lies habitually, that behavior pattern is always connected to other extremely disturbing traits and behaviors. 

Lying is like breathing for narcissistic sociopaths, and they use it as a manipulation tool

Classic Narcissistic Sociopathic Behaviors

 Isn't this rich?! Love the irony. HaHa!

I have Nikki and her mother stalking me everywhere on the internet. They've come to MY page, not the other way around, yet I'm the stalker. Then, Nikki used one of her favorite tactics to bait me into some drama by sending an empty text. 

I learned this evening that sending empty texts is common among narcissistic sociopaths. It's another one of their bait and switch games. You respond in any way to an empty text, and you have set off a powder keg of drama, with you being accused of starting it, because technically, they didn't text anything. I KNOW! Crazy, right?

 Nikki has done this exact same thing to me before. She sends an empty text. I respond with ? or What? and then she starts the verbal assault, and when I try to tell Jeremey she did this, not me, what's her response? You got it. She didn't start anything. I was the first one to text, because her text had no words in it. HaHa. She does the same thing with emails.

You Can't Be Friends With Someone Who Wants Your Life

Lies and Flying Monkeys

My son's girlfriend is the narcissistic sociopath in my life. She has been relentless in her smear campaign against me. When I finally got the evidence to prove she was the instigator and not the victim, she suddenly wanted to call a truce of sorts. She would stop maligning my character and trying to bait me on line if I would "just leave her alone". Of course, we only reached this point because she could no longer deny the truth. 

However, within 6 hours of this "agreement" I began receiving texts and messages from her mother, her father and her 12 year old daughter. Still haven't heard a word from her, so I'm thinking she believes she pulled a fast one on me. What kind of person does this?

Intelligent Adults can be Brainwashed

Here is an excellent article from the website Shrink4Men that describes in detail that indeed grown people can be brainwashed by abusive partners. The article describes how its done and the difficulties faced when outsiders see it in action and attempt to warn their friend or family member.

https://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2010/02/24/how-abusive-women-brainwash-you/